i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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