Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
