is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just want to make out with him forever
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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