I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
