I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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