Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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