your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
