capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
