you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
