The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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