My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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