I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
