I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
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Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
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Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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