and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
