I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
honey bunches of taint.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
