Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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