clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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