we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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