It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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