I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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