does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
