I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
