the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize