Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My life is pants optional.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
