Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Randomize
