she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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