two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
