fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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