So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
