her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
