I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize