i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
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