So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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