that's an acceptable place to lick
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
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