we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
