if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
