I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
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i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
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my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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