saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
