I can text with my tongue
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
