Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
