we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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