My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
jump out the window naked night went bad
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