I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
