susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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