Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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