So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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