I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
