i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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