Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
