hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Randomize
