She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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