Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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