He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
