i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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