If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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