OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
