Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
