She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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