New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
