At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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