Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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