She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Still dying that you shit outside
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
